Life doesn’t always go as planned. For many of us, a unexpected change in our lives, or a diagnosis turns our world upside down, forcing us to let go of the life we once knew. The loss of who we used to be, the things we could do, or the plans we had for our future can feel overwhelming. It’s easy to cling to the way things were, hoping that if we just hold on tighter, we can regain what’s been lost. But sometimes, true peace comes not from holding on, but from the brave act of letting go.
We Just Want a Sense Of Control
When chronic illness strikes or life throws a curveball, it’s common to feel like we’re losing control. We may desperately try to regain it—through treatments, new routines, or just sheer willpower. But there’s a hard truth we have to face: some things are beyond our ability to fix. Letting go of the need to control every outcome can be terrifying, but it can also bring profound peace. It’s about accepting that we may not have control over our illness or circumstances, but we do have control over how we respond. And in faith we know who has the ultimate control over our lives.
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up on managing our health or caring about our well-being. It’s recognizing that no matter how much we try to control every variable, some aspects of chronic illness are unpredictable. Choosing to let go of the pressure to “fix” everything allows us to focus on living fully, even in the face of uncertainty.
There is Weight in Carrying It Still
Chronic illness often forces us to let go of things we never imagined we’d have to release—our careers, physical abilities, or even our sense of independence. We hold on because it feels like losing these things means losing a part of ourselves. But holding onto the way life “should be” can prevent us from embracing what life is right now.
There’s a heavy burden in resisting change. We expend energy clinging to old versions of ourselves, fighting against the reality that our body or life circumstances have shifted. But in this resistance, we drain the very energy we need to find new ways to thrive.
Letting go doesn’t erase the pain of loss, but it lightens the load we carry. It opens up space for acceptance and the possibility of finding new ways to live with meaning.
Is There Strength In It?
Letting go is not a sign of weakness. It’s one of the most powerful acts of resilience we can make when facing chronic illness or unexpected life changes. It’s choosing to stop wrestling with the things we cannot change and instead focus on where we do have the ability.
This might mean letting go of the dream of perfect health or the life we once envisioned. It might mean releasing old expectations of ourselves and embracing who we are now. The strength in letting go comes from recognizing that while our circumstances may have changed, our value hasn’t. We can find peace in learning to adapt and in discovering new ways to find joy and purpose.
But How? Steps Toward Letting Go! Here are some things that I think are important in the letting go process. We talked about the first one in our recent episode with Dana.
Acknowledge the Grief: Letting go often involves grieving the loss of who we were before the illness or the unexpected change. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated. Acknowledge these feelings—they’re a natural part of the process.
Shifting Focus to What You Can Control: While chronic illness may limit certain aspects of life, there are still things you can control. Focus on what brings you joy, comfort, or a sense of purpose today. And these things that bring joy, comfort and purpose can change and that is okay!
Redefine Your Identity: Letting go of who you were doesn’t mean losing yourself. It means making space to redefine yourself in light of new realities. You are still whole, even in the midst of change. You are still you, you still have purpose, and you still have light to share.
Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude: Letting go invites us to be present with what IS rather than what WAS. Mindfulness helps us stay grounded, and gratitude allows us to find small joys, even in the midst of difficult times.
Finding Peace in the Release Of It All
When we’re facing chronic illness or life-changing events, it can feel like everything is slipping out of our hands. But peace comes not from gripping tighter to what we’ve lost, but from learning to release what we can’t control. In the act of letting go, we create space for healing—not necessarily a cure, but a healing of the spirit and mind. We learn to accept where we are, and from that place, we can build a new kind of peace.
Letting go is not about giving up. It’s about giving ourselves permission to live fully in this moment, with all its imperfections. Chronic illness may change our path, but it doesn’t diminish our strength or worth. By releasing the need for things to be the way they once were, we open ourselves to the possibility of finding peace in the life we’re living now. And in that release, we may find the resilience to not only survive but thrive.
